Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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