EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
tell me about the fingering
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