Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
