Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
