i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
