I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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