All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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