You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize