and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
