I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
