I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize