he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
