I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
