i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
