i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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