Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
