I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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