Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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