Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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