Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
