just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
