Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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