You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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