I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
