Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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