we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
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She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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