No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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