What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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