I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
