Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
