her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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