i permit you to call me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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