whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize