Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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