I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
