mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
