I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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