She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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