If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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