I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
