Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
