I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
