I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
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