did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
this hospital has no fireball
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
