At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
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