Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize
