Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's shark week go big or go home
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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