The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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