that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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