I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
