you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize