What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
