So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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