Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
