Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
