Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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