HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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