Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
