Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
