I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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